Back dating hairy man

You’re likely therefore, to catch a glimpse of him and his geeky Internet-addicted mates at higher education establishments, grubby clubs and student canteens.

Their apartments tend to be chock full of books and CDs with a bicycle propped against the wall next to the couch.

The aristos didn’t get anywhere in life by changing their ways, now, did they?

Distinguishing marks: On paper, the little “von” or “zu” -- or even more absurdly, both -- tagged onto his last name is a dead giveaway you’ve met a man of Teutonic Sang Real.

Even better, they dress well, smell of expensive eau de Cologne, and they’re intelligent.

Indeed, the first impression is so overwhelming that it almost always leads directly to the first German dating no-no: Expecting that going to a party full of such hunks will yield a catch. German males are not only fine physical specimens, but they're also weak, wimpy, afraid of commitment, and painfully shy.

He may have an ability to speak boarding school English with a fake Eton accent.

Should they be inclined to work, they can likewise be found in the management of Germany's leading media outlets. The Pros: If you’re English and homesick, Aristo German Male will happily indulge your need to take lots of holidays back to the homeland.

You will be stranded in a dusty Hell, furnished in Biedermeier kitsch.

And when you resist your transition into the Teutonic Upper Class, Aristo German Male will dump you for an Aristo German Female with higher cheekbones. Running around Hamburg’s Alster when you fancy going shoe shopping, or forcing you to go Nordic Walking on a Sunday morning when you’d still rather be under your duvet stuffing yourself with scrambled eggs, Sporty German Male laughs in the face of blubber, Wiener Schnitzel and chips.

SPORTY GERMAN MALE “I never, ever got involved in sport,” said Winston Churchill wisely. My one brief encounter with Sporty German Male included a doomed mini-break to Mallorca. “If you were fat, my sweetness, you would not be here!

Stretched out by the swimming pool in my bikini, I asked: “Do I look fat in this? " Distinguishing marks: Adonis-like hairless, perma-tanned body. Favorite Activities: Marathons, hill running, admiring himself in a mirror, making tofu stir-fry.

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Intellectual German Male whiles away time by writing books, reading esoteric academic papers, starting discussions about German philosophers while smoking strong French cigarettes, drinking espresso, reading the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung and eyeing up diaphanous, high-cheek-boned French women. They are fond of saying things like, "The country I come from doesn't exist anymore." What happened to that good old collectivist spirit, eh? Often has an unhealthy obsession with stonewashed circa 1983 denim, Trabant cars and the German Baltic Sea coast. He may also have dreadlocks and often wears a scarf even when the sun is shining.

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