Cam sex chats no sign ups
The moments are doled out in microdoses, in the tickle of joy from music I love, in the glow of conversation with someone I admire, in the sharp anticipatory pang before a good meal. As I watch these two ascend the stairs, the younger man’s palm glued to the base of his boyfriend’s spine, how I ache—and how the unexpected agony rakes through every fiber in ways I’ve never before felt. She’s carrying a basket of little gift-bags of skin-care products wrapped in pink and blue cellophane. Soon they’ll disappear, feet by knees by thighs by hips, over the horizon created by the top step. Even if he couldn’t fully articulate his desires then, I knew from my own experiences what he wanted. When we first started chatting, his face was baby-smooth, his hair sandy and impossibly tousled.
My attention flicks away from the couple on the stairs to her concerned gaze. I’m not even aware that I’m sighing until it’s already happened. He wanted to be used and loved and consumed and appreciated, all at once. He sent me videos he’d made, just for me, of himself jerking off.
The impossibly tall vision in the black sequined gown puts a hand on my shoulder. He wanted someone with confidence enough to follow through, and experience enough to tailor an encounter into something special, instead of regrettable. My dick would strain and yearn as I stared at his fist clenching, vise-like, around his thick shaft.
Peter was a puppy, game for anything, eager to be taught. His flat stomach would ripple and heave as he beat.
Much as I loved the videos, I looked forward even more to the selfies Peter would share. I thought of Peter more than occasionally, wondering how it would have played out, had our paths crossed. There was something about Peter, about the sweet way he communicated, about the way he seemed to hunger for me, that reminded me of them. I needed someone covered in sweat and semen to look at me with dazed love in his eyes, the way Scruffy had. It hurts, knowing someone you’ve wanted is off the market. Ever since that Monday when we didn’t connect, I’ve had to tread carefully when I head into the city for my meetings.
Vaguely wary, and smelling that something was up, I texted him Sunday night to ask if we were getting together the next day. But there was an issue he hadn’t addressed with me. Just as I’d convinced myself that any amount of Peter in my life was better than no Peter, I figured cuddling with Peter would be better than my usual pre-meeting lonely ritual of aimless wandering and a solitary dinner. He was hoping I wouldn’t resent him for the news he was about to drop, but his boyfriend was taking a half-day off work. For our meeting I’d been planning to head into the city at lunchtime.
Though he was free to take cock, his arrangement with his boyfriend specified that any sex he had with other men had to be with condoms only. But after all of Peter’s sex parties and makeout sessions with his boss, I worried I was just a number in some sexual rampage brought about by his newfound open relationship. With the change in schedule, I postponed my commute until mid-afternoon.
But a month later he was off again to study abroad. But, he told me, if it were ever to open up, he wanted to explore every inch of my body with his hands and mouth. Yet over the next two weeks I fell back into the old pattern I'd always shared with Peter. I sighed with desire when he texted his latest videos and photos, and listened as he would speak glowingly about his latest perfect relationship with his new older boyfriend. Every time my phone buzzed during those weeks and I’d see Peter’s name at the top of my screen, I’d end up with a wet spot in my trunks. I’d fallen into a comfortable pattern with Peter over the years. I didn’t try to coerce him into meeting, though I hoped it would happen. While part of me was glad to have my suspicions confirmed, I was still angry. When you ghosted me for a month immediately after, though, I retroactively felt—and still feel—like I’d been jerked around. So here it is, another Monday night, though in June.
He had fond memories of our chats, he said, and such lust for me. Then, with his next breath, Peter would confide he wished he was curled up naked next to me, with no space at all between my groin and his ass. Perhaps reconnect and get to know each other again? He would do anything to reestablish our relationship in a casual way—though it would be so hot to get sexual with me. Then, without warning, he stopped answering my texts. He’d resurface, express his desire for me, entice me to open up both my heart and my zipper . Forcing something fragile or elusive ruins its sweet simplicity. Of course poking makes me grimace, even when I did it knowing the outcome. I’m home and looking through my phone, and I saw that I never responded to this. Some things went down and we are taking time to reset/prioritize/figure things out. I’ve spent an day off in the city with my other half on a date of sorts—some shopping, a fun dinner, then this show in a rented NYU underground theater.