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The matches I speak to on behalf of the Texan man and other clients have no idea they’re chatting with a professional.It shouldn’t come as a surprise that these ghostwriting services exist.“Never compliment her without a qualification,” he writes.“Let her know what you want in a woman and make her explain why she fits those criteria.” “I’m not a psychologist or self-proclaimed expert in the multiple facets of human psychology,” Valdez told Quartz in a phone call.“I consider myself to be a marketer, a matchmaker, and a dating expert.” He lists the books he’s read that inform his methods: Malcolm Gladwell’s “Online dating takes effort, and effort equals time,” he continued.“With [dating apps’] explosion in popularity, it means that you have a huge dating pool at your fingertips, but you’re also in direct competition with everyone else in your area.Once you mix in the vague rules of netiquette and a healthy fear of catfishing scams, it’s easy to see why someone might want to outsource their online-dating profile to a pro, if only to keep themselves sane.But where does the digital social assistant end and the con artist begin? In November 2017, I ran across an ad seeking “people with good Tinder skills” for a job as a “Virtual Dating Assistant.” At first I thought it was a joke, but I completed their online form out of pure fascination. Apparently, professional writers make for good online-dating assistants; knowing how to seduce strangers with the written word is the company’s mandate, after all.

“Let’s try a different approach.” My meaningful questions would disappear from our shared Google Doc, replaced by simpler, condescending small talk.So if you want to have a chance at meeting your most intriguing matches, you need to have the best possible profile, photos, and messages.” In my guise as a middle-aged American male, it’s my job to pursue women on our clients’ behalf.These people are often in their early 20s; young women with less dating savvy are easy targets for the company’s methods.Before Tinder normalized “DTF” (“Down To Fuck”) as an opening salute, Valdez would send copy-and-pasted pick-up lines to dozens of women a day and track their effectiveness on spreadsheets.“Online dating is a numbers game,” he would write in the Vi DA training manual years later.

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When I tell people that I work as an online-dating assistant, their initial reaction is of morbid curiosity. But the intake interviewer seemed just as interested in my ethical flexibility as he was in the journalistic details of my résumé. ” Would I be comfortable ranking clients’ photographs? I learned that there are two main types of writers at the company: “Profile Writers,” who create seductive and click-worthy profiles based on facts our clients have supplied about themselves, and “Closers,” who log in to clients’ dating accounts at least twice a day to respond to messages from matches.

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