Dating a man while going through divorce
At first, she was diagnosed with ADHD which is much more common than bipolar.
When you get diagnosed with ADHD, they give you speed for it and things got worse.
I’m in a situation where I’m trying to get her to get a job and move out. The typical situation is it’s a male with bipolar who’s going through all of these things.
All of the examples that I find to protect myself were geared towards women.
I’m not going to do anything with you until you get a job.”I draw lines. She asks for intimacy and closeness and I say, “Okay, you need to give me what I need first. I think there’s enormous social pressure and guilt involved in deciding to end your marriage to someone who’s physically or mentally ill.
Part of that comes from the traditional wedding vows, “in sickness and in health” and part comes from a fear of others judging you which is often rooted in them not understanding what it’s really like to live with the illness.
Then, I had to intervene again with her treatment and get her on something else.In terms of how, a legal separation may address some concerns with breaking your marriage vows and is worth exploring.From a practical standpoint, I encourage clients to think in terms of loving detachment.One of my readers, “Jeff” is married with two young sons. For Jeff, the marriage is over but he feels unable to leave until his wife is somewhat self-sufficient.In the meantime he tries to stay actively involved in her care although that has its challenges. Because of her mental illness I’m the sole provider financially, but I’m also the primary emotional provider for our sons.
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I had to approach her ADHD doctor and tell her what was really going on.