Dating dysfunctional women
In fact, people tend to pick partners who share similar negative characteristics with their primary caregivers.We all have mental and emotional wounds and when those wounds are deep enough and go unaddressed, it can become a pathology.They automatically assumed that I was mentally unhealthy, and therefore totally unfit for their son. I’ve been happily married for over eight years, and it took about five years for all of my in laws - his parents, his sisters, and their husbands - to stop treating me with massive amounts of suspicion. For them to relax, and stop worrying that I was going to wake one day and become a serial killer, because I ‘came from a highly dysfunctional family’.
Anyone who has been in a seriously crap-filled relationship knows that when you try to date again, it's like being a person without skin going into a room full of glass shards. We will be suspicious when you do super-nice things for us.
Plenty of ‘highly dysfunctional’ people had lovely, caring, providing, High Functioning parents!
My parents were totally uneducated, and addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Once we have a sense of why we date the way we do, we can shift our negative patterns and make healthy, intentional choices.
As the writer Tim Urban profoundly stated, “When you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times.” With that in mind, isn’t it time we faced our patterns and got intentional about choosing the right guy?