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And my Chinese mother-in-law was anxious to clear them away.“Look at all of these clothes,” she said, lifting up a shirt and then the jeans, sighing.One day, my inlaws chastised Da Sao for enrolling her son, Kaiqi, in too many afterschool activities.

But they were my the clothes of my sister-in-law, Da Sao, married to my husband’s eldest brother.As sort of “low woman on the totem pole” in her new family, one of her main jobs would be to serve her mother-in-law and make her happy.The Chinese mother-in-law (at least in ages past) had a reputation for being pretty demanding and difficult to please — after all, she had once been low woman on the totem pole as well, and had risen through the ranks to become mother, mother-in-law, and hopefully, grandmother.While living in the in-laws’ Chinese household, Hueying’s mother, the Japanese outsider, suffers in silence while playing the role of the traditional daughter-in-law until her resentment brews against her own daughter, Hueying.Of course, not all daughters-in-law must endure silent rejection, abuse or worse at the hands of their Chinese mothers-in-law.

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The father-in-law is not only unfitted to take the control which belongs to his wife, even were he at home all the time which would seldom be the case, but propriety forbids him to do any such thing, even were he able.

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