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I’ve learned that sex, even at its height, merely echoes something far more worthwhile: a loving partnership of two people sharing everything.

What's attractive to me today is the sort of romance that lasts a lifetime.

But it felt weird and fake and, as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t. It didn’t matter if sex had been protected—I lived out those weeks in secret terror.

This sexual narrative was supposed to assert my autonomy, but I felt anything but empowered after a condom mishap.

Now, any man who would knowingly endanger the well-being of another person or his possible future child for the sake of his lust has, in my opinion, serious character flaws.

Unfortunately, men fitting this description are often seen as the alpha males of our dating market.

Through the insight of having moved on, I began to see the hookup culture without the nightclub’s optical illusions. I practiced it enough to know that the risks are too high; the benefits so low.

It shouldn't surprise, then, that men in hookups care only about themselves; that’s kind of the point.

Yet those fighting for more female pleasure often cling to the unlikely position of justifying the hookup culture while blaming male ignorance of physical aspects of a woman’s sexuality, the complexity of her anatomy, etc.—as if he didn’t know how to try.

The reality is much simpler: According to the numbers, the best measure of a woman’s sexual pleasure is his level of commitment to her.

In a study involving 24,000 college students, 40 percent of women surveyed said they had an orgasm during their last hookup, while closer to 75 percent reported having an orgasm the last time they had sex in a committed relationship.

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Growing research evidence verifies that the orgasm gap between men and women exists—and is widest during hook ups. Consider how we complain that women “always want to cuddle afterward.” I can't speak for all women, but needing to cuddle only happened to me when he left me aroused, unfinished, and frustrated.

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