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I wasn’t taught tools (or if I was, I didn’t hear them) of how to navigate that as an adult.
When I lost my virginity in a blackout my sophomore year of college to someone that I didn’t actually know, it sent me on a long journey of discovering how boundaries actually set me free to date and help me to stay true to myself.
It’s not just the influence of alcohol that makes sticking to your guns difficult when it comes to sex.
Dating guys who are not on the same page as you also makes holding off on sex really hard.
But my love for it can send mixed messages when I am trying not to lead a guy on.
If your love language is physical touch, don’t go to your new boyfriend for a back rub.
I grew up believing that I would wait to have sex until I was married.
Boundaries are a powerful tool to help you date with intention.
This creates a lot of frustration, and I’ve seen far too often that men feel defeated.
They take it personally and react much more negatively than if I share my feelings when we are at dinner one evening.
do, I prefer to talk about the freedom that holding off on sex provides by keeping me physically and emotionally safe and why I value fostering friendship and emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.
Whatever your reasons are, don’t be ashamed of them, and be open with your guy about why you are going against the grain on this one.