Mareeage not dating
I felt like this was good advice, and Ibegan to act on it.As I began to date in high school and college, I consciously began screening all of my dating options through the “would you marry her” filter.My plan to date my wife was not a plan to pursue intimacy with her but to impress her with my creativity and hopefully score a one-way ticket to the bedroom later in the evening.This was not an example of loving my wife like Christ loved the church, but of using my wife as a means to love myself.Eventually, through the grace of the Holy Spirit and the patience of my wife, I am slowly learning what it means to date my wife in a way that values her and honors Jesus.
THE GOAL OF DATING If the goal of dating was marriage, what happens to dating after you’re married?
I pursued her passionately, trying to exemplify what a Godly man was and how I was capable of loving, providing for, and protecting her.
After about seven-months of dating, I asked Allyson to be my wife, and by the grace of God, she agreed.
A MODEL OF PURSUIT In Ephesians 5, Paul challenges husbands to a great pursuit, saying, “Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph. Paul exhorts husbands to model their love and service for their wives after the model of Jesus’ love and service for the church.
When Jesus called the church to himself, he did so with the intention of presenting her holy and blameless to the Father.
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When I first got married, I believed that dating my wife well meant coming up with all kinds of creative date ideas for us every week or so.