Traits to look for when dating
Humility is a quiet sort of confidence, an inner strength that allows for vulnerability because its possessor cares more about what is true than who is right.Humble people are teachable because, unlike the proud, they are open to criticism and correction without being emotionally battered and bruised by what is said or even how it’s said.Those who persist, who persevere and endure, these are they who are the happiest amongst us. Each of the character traits treated here is meant not as mere techniques to be conveniently applied then discarded as expedience demands.To truly be considered a character trait, we can’t treat them as periodic expressions of the trait, like a hammer in a toolbox to be used when needed and put away when there are no more nails to hit.
Therein lay the secret of humility’s influence on happiness: Humility leads to personal growth. At exactly that point where courage falters, is the point at which all other character traits fail as well. Being loyal to your friends is easy in front of your friends. They are also grateful for what others might consider the ordinary and common – that which is so easily taken for granted.
And who we are at the core is largely what defines our character. This final post in this series, then, will introduce you to those principles of character that are important to living a happy life.
When everything is stripped away, when you are proverbially standing naked with nothing else but who you are between you and the mirror of life, when you are without house or car or career or wardrobe to hide behind, then, and for some Nothing else ultimately matters all that much when compared to these. Corrupt any one of the four components and your happiness will be compromised. Character is the marriage of #1 and #2 as expressed in #3 (of the 4 components above).
But honesty when you know you will be in all kinds of trouble for telling the truth requires all kinds of courage to tell it anyway. They notice the flutter of leaves in the breeze and the blueness of the sky and the crispness of autumn. They are appropriately tolerant of their own (see #10). They don’t feel the need to control it or to control others. They don’t blow up or blow things out of proportion.
And they feel the radiant glow of joy in each act of appreciation they offer. They can live comfortably with change and disruption and opposing ideas and attitudes. It allows us to see pain behind anger, to recognize hidden misfortune behind very public expressions of bitterness and to reach out with kindness and compassion to those who strike out in fear and blame. And the purer the love, the deeper the happiness it produces. It’s the attitude of Gandhi to his jailors, and Jesus to his crucifiers.